The Game
How to Play
A step-by-step guide to the cards, the rounds, and the conversations that matter.
This Should Be Normal is a conversation game about intimacy, trust, personal boundaries, and social norms. There are no winners or losers — only honest conversations and, sometimes, real commitments.
Three Stages
Every round moves through three stages in sequence:
Stage 1
Statement
One player creates a statement beginning with "This should be normal to…" No card is played during this phase — the statement stands on its own and opens the conversation.
"This should be normal to sleep naked together."
"This should be normal to hold hands while walking."
Stage 2
Discussion
Starting clockwise, every other player answers exactly once. Each player chooses one non-Spade card, combines its suit meaning with its value, and explains their answer. Spades cannot be played during this phase.
Stage 3
Commitment
After everyone has answered, each player may either play one Spade or pass. Playing a Spade means proposing to turn the statement into a real experience — with a realistic timeframe. Other players may respond with ♥, ♦, ♣, or simply pass. Playing a Spade is always optional.
"I'd like to try this next weekend."
"Let's do this during our summer trip."
The Deck
The game uses a standard 36-card deck. Each card carries two meanings: its suit tells you your position toward the statement, and its value tells you how to express it.
Each player holds 6 cards in hand at all times. Before every round, all players draw back up to six cards.
Card Suits
| Suit | Position | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| ♥ | Yes, and… | You agree. Your response supports, strengthens, or develops the original idea. |
| ♠ | Commitment | Used only in Phase 3. Means: "I'd genuinely like to turn this idea into reality." Must include a realistic timeframe. |
| ♦ | Yes, but… | You agree with conditions, limitations, or modifications. Only if… / I'd prefer… / I'd change one thing… |
| ♣ | What about… | You redirect without rejecting. You suggest a related but different direction. I'd rather… / What about… / Instead, I'd… |
Card Values
The value of the card shapes how you deliver your answer.
A
Answer
What do you think?
K
Lead
Who starts?
Q
Feeling
How would it feel?
J
Imagine
Paint a vivid scene.
10
Next
What naturally happens next?
9
Recall
Share a real memory or wish.
8
Limits
Only with… / Never when…
7
Mood
Candlelight. Summer rain. Jazz music.
6
Joke
Answer with humor. Make people smile.
Example combination — ♥ Q: "I think it would feel peaceful and very natural."
Special Case: All Spades
If a player's hand contains only Spades during the Discussion Phase:
- Reveal one Spade and place it on the bottom of the deck.
- Draw a replacement card.
- Repeat if necessary.
Commitment Phase — Table Layout
A Spade proposal is placed slightly forward in the center of the table instead of going to the discard pile immediately. Response cards (♥, ♦, ♣) are placed next to the corresponding proposal, creating a visual map of the players' commitments. After the Commitment Phase ends, all cards are discarded.
Rule: each player may play at most one Spade per round, and every proposal must derive from the original statement — never from another player's proposal.
End of the Round
The round ends when every player has either played one Spade or passed, and all responses are complete. The next player clockwise starts a new round. Before the next Statement Phase, every player draws back to 6 cards.
Principles
There are no winners.
There are no punishments.
No player is required to accept a proposal.
Honesty is more important than impressing others.
Curiosity is more important than persuasion.
Respect every player's boundaries.
The purpose of TSBN is not to convince people. It is to better understand yourself and the people around you — and sometimes discover experiences worth bringing into real life.